Gauging Reactions
by toeskater91
Summary: It's been 4 years since Hiei stayed in the demon realm. Kurana's been miserable on the inside due to how he gauged Hiei's reaction but was it how Hiei really felt? And Hiei wants to know why Kurama never showed up to the 2nd demon world tournament. HxK
1. Chapter 1

First fic, please be kind.bows Oh and this will contain shounen ai(boy boy love) so no like no read

Oh, and I DO NOT OWN Yu Yu Hakusho or any of its characters

At a desk in an average home's bedroom sat one red head draped across the desk. A dejected look graced his handsome yet slightly girlish features and his long red head cascaded around his head haphazardly., his vivid green eyes containing a far away look. A sigh escaped his lips as his eyes closed and replayed the memory again.

"_So Yusuke's going back after all?"_

"_After he takes care of some things."_

"_And I guess your off too?"_

"_That's right, to my family."_

_Throw of the tear gem_

"_Hiei I can't except this I value our friendship and all we've been through but I'm not _

_interested in you that way."_

"_You fool I'm not giving my stone to you!"_

"_Relax it's a joke, you want me to give this to Yukina right?"_

"_That's right. I want you to tell her that her dear twin brother's been dead for years."_

"_Why don't you return it to her yourself Hiei?"_

"_I'm staying here in demon world. I want her to call off her ridiculous search for me."_

"_Even if you did want that I won't shut this door for you. You'll give this to her at your _

_own pace."_

"_You're the same way you were the first time we met, a pain who speaks the truth."_

_Handing back of the tear gem_

Kurama, the name pf the red head at the desk, stifled a small laugh as he remembered Hiei's reaction after his comment with the tear gem and than the laughing abruptly stopped as he sank back down into his sorrow.

'Four years since that tournament, four whole years and you've never looked back. It's

to be expected gauging your reaction at that scene. My own little way of revealing my

feelings to you. I gauged you reaction, hoping to see hurt in those crimson pools of your

eyes. I hated the thought of causing you the pain I thought you'd be experiencing but it

was the only way I could know, let my icy calm coolness take over my vocal actions.

But, I'd gauged everything wrong before. The only thing that flashed through your eyes

was anger at the mere suggestion.'

A sigh escaped Kurama's lips as he closed his eyes and buried his head into his arms, murmurs escaped from his mouth barely audible because his mouth sitting in the crook of his elbow.

"Damn good thing I can have an icy cold exterior that shows no real emotion. Damn

good thing he let the 'joke' go. Damn good thing he hasn't come back to see his sister or

I would have gone to pieces. Damn good thing…I only cry in my room where nobody

can see or hear me…"

And with that Kurama, loving son at the moment and the feared Yoko in his past let sincere, meaningful tears slide down his face as they had every night for the past 4 yours since Hiei left. The only real tears that had graced his features because of emotion.

The tears continued nonstop for over a half an hour and after a full hour Kurama groggily pulled himself off the desk and walked to his bed. But before he made it to his bed the ¾ moon outside his window caught his gaze for a minute.

"So full looking yet not whole, a bit like me I suppose, none notices what's missing as a

big detail, just what's there is all that matters to everyone."

Kurama gazed a minute more and crawled into his bed, wrapping the covers around himself, and curling into a ball. Sleep claimed him fast.

From across the room in the darkest corner a pair of crimson eyes stared at Kurama confused at his obvious suffering and peculiar statements. The face that owned those crimson eyes gained a look of annoyance though.

'Great, more problems, now not only do I have to figure out why he didn't show up to the

last tournament but why the hell he's like this and who the hell he's talking about.

Probably some stupid human he fell for that idiot.'

Hiei let out an inaudible sigh and flitted out Kurama's window deciding to figure out what's wrong tomorrow because he had to calm himself from the waves of emotion coursing through his body because of the red head. Feelings he was sure he'd pushed away 4 years ago.

To be continued…

Well, first chapter what do you think so far?

Review appreciated.

Next chapter soon.


	2. Chapter 2

Thank you everyone for the reviews so far and putting this story on your story alerts lists. Here's the next chapter, enjoy

And I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho or any of it's characters.

Hiei flitted through the trees after leaving Kurama's house. Unable to relax or sleep due to the emotions wracking his body. He sighed as on memory came to his mind unexpectedly.

"_How's the patrol?"_

"_Nonsense."_

"_You could go back to human world. I'd make sure no one came looking for you."_

"_Heh. That's not why I stay."_

'Yeah, the fear of other demons never scared me off of anything. The real reason I didn't go back was because of Kurama I guess. I have no idea how to gauge him anymore.'

Hiei let out a sigh as he continued flittering through the trees, thoughts muddling themselves in his head and becoming even more muddled as the night grew on.

Eventually he decided to follow the blasted fox tomorrow to try and figure some things out. Especially why he didn't come back for the tournament for the next ruler of demon world. It didn't suit Kurama in Hiei's mind and he was going to find out, no matter who's feelings got hurt in the process, even if they were his.

Kurama groggily rose from sleep as the suns rays trickled in across his face through his open window. He rubbed his eyes and methodically got dresses. Today in a plain pair of dark green slacks with a light green button up short sleeve shirt. He proceeded downstairs to his human mother and put on his personality only his human mother and human classmates ever saw.

"Good morning Mother, did you sleep well last night?"

"Shuichi, you're up! I slept well, thanks, but I'll sleep better when your step father and brother return from that business trip."

"Oh yes, they'll be back and a week or two yes? And than things will be less hectic

around here."

"I guess your right. Do you want some breakfast or should I just go to work now?"

"Don't worry about me mother. There's no school today and I'm going out. I'll pick

something up while I'm out."

"Be careful, I'll see you tonight Shuichi."

"Goodbye Mother."

And with that Kurma's human Mother left the house and went to work. Kurama soon followed suit planning to wander about on one of the few days off in his hectic senior year of school. And aimlessly he left the house.

After an hour of mindless wandering he came into a somewhat busy shopping and restaurant area. He continued walking trying to clear his head.

"Kurama."

The redhead paused for only a minute thinking someone had called his name. He shrugged it off and continued to walk.

"HEY, KURAMA. TURN AROUND YOU IDIOT!!!!!"

Kurama turned slowly with a pained expression. Very few knew him by that name and even fewer actually called it out on a crowded sidewalk. He was greeted by the sight of a stupidly grinning Yusuke and an embarrassed Kayko He began walking towards them drawing some murmurs from the passerbys at the scene Yusuke had called.

"See Kayko, if you want to get someone's attention you have to yell really loud, not just say their name once."

"But Yusuke, that just drew a lot of attention and,"

Kayko grabbed Yusuke by the ear and dragged it to her level so she could whisper without being heard. This spawned a yell of pain from Yusuke in the process.

"Besides, we're not even supposed to call him Kurama in public unless we're only in earshot of each other. We don't want to make anyone else he knows suspicious of him. Remember he's Shuichi normally."

A look of obvious realizations dawned on Yusuke's face as Kayko released him and Kurama came closer. He turned to Kurama.

"Geez, sorry man, didn't mean to scream like that but Kayko didn't get your attention and I acted before I thought about it as usual. Guess that just proves my stupidity."

Yusuke broke into a laugh and brought his hand up behind his ear as he did so. Kurama made a forced smile, still upset a smidge due to his human emotions at the scene Yusuke had made. He turned to Kayko.

"So Kayko, was there something you wanted or did you just want to say hi?"

"Well, a bit of just wanting to say hi and wondering if you wanted to join us for lunch.

We don't get to talk much anymore cause of no cases anymore and different schools."

"Plus man, I gotta tell you about the demon world tournament. It was awesome man.

Twice the number of competitors as last year."

Kurama smiled and nodded and allowed himself to be dragged into a small restaurant of their choosing. However before any food was ordered or any stories swapped Yusuke remembered he'd promised to meet Genkai and he'd already pissed her off enough in the past months and didn't want to be killed when he saw her again. He departed with a hasty goodbye and a quick shy kiss with Kayko. Kayko and Kurama ordered light lunches for themselves. After the meals arrived Kayko started speaking again.

"Sorry about Yusuke, we invited you and Yusuke was going to discuss the tournament

with you and he left. Sorry if we cost you any time you had planned for something else."

Kayko's face gained a small disappointed look.

"It's fine really, I had nothing planned. Just enjoying a day of freedom from school."

Kayko's face returned to normal and the two made small talk till almost all the food was gone until Kayko's faced gained a serious expression as she gazed at Kurama.

"Kayko is there something wrong? You look very serious and I rarely see you like that

unless you're pissed at Yusuke."

Kurama's voice had a smidgen tint of nervousness not sure what to expect from Kayko.

"What's been bothering you Kurama? And don't deny it and say nothing. Something's

been off with you for a while and our other friends may not be as perceptive but I can tell

something's up so what, you can tell me."

Kurama sighed a sigh of defeat after Kayko finished talked and closed his eyes.

'My mask slipped or Kayko's just really good at gauging people. She might laugh

though. But don't you want someone to know?"

Kurama looked back at Kayko still trying to figure out what to say to her when a figure across the room caught his attention. A figure that had crimson pools of eyes, who was shorter than average, and had wild black hair. A figure that stared at him for a minute and quickly fled out the door. A figure who was none other than the one causing his distress. None other than Hiei himself. After the figure left Kurama spaced out of look of surprise at first on his face eventually replaced by one of slight agony.

Kayko has no idea at what Kurama had seen but she was suddenly remorseful for bringing up the topic and she was desperately trying to get Kurama to snap back to himself.

"Kurama, Kurama what's wrong, come on, say something. Kurama?"

Hiei was on the sidewalk after exiting the restaurant stealthily slipping through the crowd. Mind racing.

'Someone finally sees that there's something wrong with him. But what happened when

he saw me? A look of surprise on his face and possibly something else…NO, there was

no other emotion on his face. He was just surprised to see him and that's it! Don't try to

gauge this as being something it's not. Well, maybe I should stop gauging his reactions

and actually confront him tomorrow. Maybe.'

Hiei continued weaving throughout the sidewalk crowd knowing full well he'd probably never confront Kurama on one of these whims. He'd been getting them ever since he'd started watching Kurama again and he knew, acting on one of these whims could destroy him but he had to help Kurama and stop him suffering. Hiei continued debating what he was going to do as he continued along the sidewalks.

To be continued

Reviews are appreciated.


	3. Chapter 3

I am very apologetic that it has taken so long for this chapter. I've been stressed with work and with the fact that school's starting soon. Thank you so much everyone who's put me on their story alert list and reviewers of chapter one. You all get a cupcake. And a special thanks to Silver-arctos-star who reviewed for both chapters. You get a cherry cake.

Enjoy the next chapter.

I DON'T OWN YU YU HAKUSHO OR ANY OF IT'S CHARACTERS.

"Kurama? Kurama? I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything, please snap out of it."

Concern laced Kayko's features like a mask while she was also trying not to draw attention although a couple sitting close stared for a minute than returned to their meal.

Kurama jolted slightly in his seat as he realized how stupid he must look, especially to receive such a look from Kayko who because of Yusuke's 3 year absence had grown more distant and was still distant around people without Yusuke. This concern on her face without Yusuke defiantly meant something was really wrong to her. Kurama regained his icy cool exterior and spoke.

"I'm fine now Kayko, don't worry. True, something is bothering me but it's

something that should be handled by myself. Thank you for your concern though.

Now, shall we continue our meal?

Kayko looked skeptical and Kurama flashed one of his warm smiles that caused his fan girls to squeal and sigh madly. Kayko smiled and they continued their meal making idle chit chat. And after the meal even though Kurama tried to deny her Kayko insisted walking Kurama back to his apartment with Shiori to make sure he was okay. At the door she turned to him, hands on her hips and a somewhat sorrowful expression on her face.

"Kurama," she began softly," I know whatever's bothering you is related to your

heart and feelings and you need to talk to someone. Be it me or Yusuke or your Mom

or whoever's causing your feelings of distress you need to talk to someone. Take it

from me, I had to keep it bottled up for three years cause of that idiot Yusuke and it

wasn't healthy. I don't want a friend to make that same mistake."

Kayko looked down at her shoes slightly embarrassed about revealing that information. Kurama sat back slightly shocked that she was so, so, knowledgeable to an extent.

"Thank you very much Kayko for the offer and the advice but as I said before, this

needs to be handled by myself and myself alone. Have a good evening and take care

on your walk back home."

Kayko sighed, bide Kurama farewell, and made her way home.

Stepping through the door of his own home silence greeted him. He was unsettled because his mother was always home at this hour. He wandered about the apartment, his nerves on edge till he found a note on the table.

**Shuichi, sorry I'm not home but your step father **

**and brother ran into a bit of trouble **

**And I have to get them out of it. Be back in a week, **

**money for food in the top right drawer next to the fridge. **

**I'm so sorry son, call me on my cell phone if you need anything,**

**Love you lots,**

**Shiori**

Kurama calmed after reading the note.

'Just some minor trouble with the rest of the family and she'll be back soon, good, this'll give

me time to think.'

Kurama skipped dinner, too full from the meal with Kayko and the thoughts running through his head, revolving around what Kayko said and Hiei. A sigh escaped his lips as he stared at the ceiling above his bed; the tears that usually poured down his cheeks just weren't coming tonight.

'I should cry, I should yell and scream my frustration and anger tonight, Mother isn't here to

hear and I could get it out of my system. But I just can't. Was it seeing Hiei today? I couldn't

have let a hope in? It'll only be worse later now, when it sinks in I probably won't see him

again.'

Another sigh and a look of sadness crossed his features as he closed his eyes and listened to the soft breeze blowing in through his window. Kurama bolted up. He hadn't opened the window. He instantly turned to the window and his eyes widened at what he saw. There sitting on his windowsill with a calculating look in his eyes Hiei was staring at him.

"Kurama, I need to know some things, can we talk?" 


End file.
